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September 03, 2009

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Clearly, what your father-in-law needs is your dramatic reading of the message--the intonation and feeling you put into it add so much.

Wow. The fun part is to guess which language is the writer's first language. If I were your father, I'd forward that to Homeland Security and suggest an I-9 audit of the vendor's personnel records. That'd be even more fun.

Er, sorry, your father-in-law.

From father-in-law:

Great job, I now understand perfectly. By the way, I get at least one email a day from this guy so if you're available ...

Hahahahahahahaha!!!! Oh, this made my Friday!

Brilliant! Simply brilliant!~

David, my dear, I'm so sorry you missed the import of this. I will now clarify for you:

This is a peice of poetry. It's post-modernist masterpeice of biting satire commenting on the current sad state of our society. Don't you get it? Rebar? Construction? It's a metaphor. Rebar is the reinforing mechanism, and no one knows who's supposed to sign off on it. Our society (the building to be constructe) is adrift without something to reinforce it (rebar!!).

This peice is the poetic equivalent of pop art. Seemingly simple, but a profound comment on the absurdity of consumerism and the angst of the technology age.

Frankly, I was moved to tears. I beg you to tell us who this soon-to-be laureate is. It would be wrong to deny the world his genuis.

The only other possibility is that some poor slob is so mal-educated that... no. NO! It cannot be. It would be too depressing to contemplate that someone actually intended to write this as a simple business email.

Where is Wallace Stevens when we need him?

My husband points out that I spelled "piece" wrong. But he knows NOTHING about language and the reasons why I chose to mimick the genius of the poet you've now shared with us...

Well, Amy, there's definitely one poetic genius involved in this thread. But I don't think it's Mr. Rebar.

Well, I had to come up with something better than, "My g-d, what an unmitigated IDIOT."

Besides, this wouldn't have been written by Wallace Stevens. It's more in the style of Robert Lowell, a la "The Skunk Hour" fame.

Ok, I'll stop now.

Writing teachers will tell you it's all about the writing. Diction teachers will tell you it's all about enunciation. David Murray will tell you, it's all about the village having a fool.

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