Americans in my desk drawer

As you know, I occasionally consort with politicians. Elected officials meet lots of people and see lots of names. And over several years, one of those officials has been sending me, on scraps of paper and the backs of receipts and Post-It Notes, the most interesting of the names he has come across. At some point I started putting them in my desk drawer.

I present these names now as a poem. They appear in the order they came out of my drawer.

Americans

McHenry Robinson

Sam Shew

Parthenia Stegal Floyd Combs III

Bruno Lorgus

James Livergood

Vera Haire

Laquisa S. Loggins.

Canita M. Treece

Andy L. Ruppenkamp

Pam Popularum

Jerri Berry

Mabel L. Fuse

Alexa McJimpsey

Perlleta Bannister

Irma German ("say it aloud")

Jesse Stiff

Shawn P. Horn

Amy M. Mings

Don W. Scattergood

Paula Poutry

Monica Beavis

Lou Tobacco

Georgia Doucette

Margine Shampine

Penny Papp

Mindy Munn

Ginger Rocks

Otto Toke ("maybe the winner re. the most memorable name using the fewest different letters, eh?")

Lad Smutny III

Zeno Regas

Jarrod Butter

Hospicio Baron

Comments

[Rueben]

Hmmm, my wife and I may have to revisit the shortlist of names for our forthcoming baby...As a classics major, I have to admit that Parthenia and Popularum are my favourites. But Lad Smutny III gets my vote for most peculiar.

[Eileen]

I had a waiter at Red Robin named Zeus. No lie. It's his given name. I thought he'd amount to more given a name like that, but alas...

[David Murray]

I had a teenage girl waiter at Bob Evans named "Tragedy," and my friend Bill tutored a boy named "Nemesis."

[Joan H.]

My dad's name was Harry Johnson. I was in my mid-40s before I thought that through.