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January 29, 2014

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It is a leading sign of the decline of Western Civilization.

A mere sign, or actually the root cause?

My most despised verbal tic of 2013:
"I feel like..." Although not used exclusively at the start of a sentence, this phrase is used instead of "um" and is the emotive "I think." All are filler at best. Honor thy listener. Preach.

Oh, now you're hitting hard. My wife and I fight about this all the time, because she's always saying things like, "I feel like I saw your keys on the coffee table," or "I feel like I wrote a check for the property taxes last month."

Oh really? Describe that "wrote-a-check-for-the-property-taxes" feeling, will you?

It's WEAK-MINDED, I tell her. Alas, I feel like I've actually said it a couple of times myself ...

So you all tell us how cold it is down there by equating it to wind chill. Sure, I get that it makes you feel more "on the frontier" if you can tell the story with more drama. "So, it got down to ZERO last night" isn't nearly as exciting as "The wind chill was MINUS TWENTY FIVE DEGREES!!!" Sure, we Alaskans like to augment our tales. Adding a foot of height to a bear, or six inches to a fish--we all do it. But we NEVER, when asked the temperature at our house last night, say, "the wind chill was MINUS A HUNDRED" even if the thermometer did dip to -45 and the wind was blowing. Heck, we don't even close the schools unless it's -50. Nobody ever answers "how cold was it" with wind chill.

So why am I telling you this? I dunno. I just wanted to say "so" and "sure" a bunch of times while making the point that you're being WEENIES with the cold weather. WEENIES, I tell you! Love, your Northern neighbor, where the temps have been in the upper 40s while you've been freezing your buns down there. I feel like you've been feeling sorry for yourselves. ;-) #threwinanemoticonjust forgoodmeasure #hashtagsmakemecrazy

#Whatshesaid

Sure. So... I feel like it's not really that big of a deal. What I hate far more than that is the trend toward using text abbreviations in proper written correspondence. Care to address that one, or is it something you've already tackled?

Joan, you live on Pluto. We live on Neptune. I would never complain to people who live on Pluto about Neptune. Mainly, because people who live on Pluto don't have the sense God gave them anyway, or they wouldn't live on Pluto. But I WILL complain to the people on Venus who have NO IDEA what it's like to have your nose hairs freeze into a rigid knot.

And you won't take that away from me. And if you're gonna try, you'd better come down here and do it personally.

Bruce, to ur q: i dnk abt tld or wtf asap. LOL!

David, I think that's a very good idea, that "do it personally" thing. Let me check my Alaska Air mileage balance. I haven't been anywhere for far too long.

Maybe I could bring you a parkie.

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