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April 05, 2017

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You nailed it, David. My other dread: the office birthday card when colleagues hang over your shoulder to see what clever words the scribe has to say.

I once nailed that one, Jan. It was a birthday card for a graphic designer. I wrote, "It doesn't matter what I write here because you never fucking read the copy anyway."

The DEEPEST DREAD comes when a dear friend gets married and you're the only writer at the wedding and you've got to deliver the wedding toast. I have a FEW of those nightmares to tell about, if I can bring myself to remember them.

Sometimes it's a toss-up between available time and heartfelt sentiment. If the former is pressing, then "happy birthday" it is. I keep clinging to the notion that, once I retire (should that day truly arrive), I will spend an hour or two each day reviving the lost art of the handwritten letter. I'm so over email, and though I am grateful for FB for staying connected, it's superficial. So beware the possibility that retirement becomes reality, Davey! You may be cursing my quill. Of course, among your acquaintance, I have the least claim on the writer's art. But one can dream.

Joan, I'll look forward to exchanging letters with you in our dotage. Our children will then publish our correspondence as part of a revival of epistolary literature, and they'll be rich and we'll live on forever, in letters.

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